Come for the Politics, Stay for the Pathologies

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Barack Obama World Tour: Big Box Office Success, But Profits Lagging

A re-cap of the BHO World Tour before we tally the take.


The O’s gave another crummy gift to the Brits, this time the queen. “The President of the Free World comes to the G20 meeting in London, and all I got was this stupid iPod.”

M’Obama hugs the queen. OH NO!

B’Obama bows to the Saudi Arabian King. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let’s hope this is just BHO showing the king that he knows how arrogant Americans can be, and that it doesn’t have anything to do with campaign contributions.

BHO refuses to kiss French First Lady Carla Bruni. Or was it the other way around? Don’t you just love a good foreign intrigue ?

World Economy:

Got the G20 to give the IMF another $1 trillion that they can loan to “emerging markets” who will never be able to repay it.

Did not get the world to follow our illustrious example of deficit stimulus spending. France and Germany just said no. Have they been listening to that know-it-all Daniel Hannan?

There will, however, be international regulations established for all banks, financial institutions and hedge funds – because we wouldn’t want our domestic agencies that are responsible for regulation of banks, financial institutions and hedge funds, to establish those regulatory rules. They’ll also address executive compensation, thank you, because that’s also too important for our domestic boards of directors and shareholders to handle.

The G20 is going to crack down on off-shore tax havens. Swell. Someone better tell Charlie Rangel.

There’s still more! We’re going to reopen the DOHA trade talks, and have the WTO give a stern lecture to anyone who pursues a hateful “ financial protectionism” policy. Ouch.


Hell no, the chocolatiers won’t go! Keep up the good work Uncle Sam.

Communication with the Adoring Fans:

G20: BHO says it’s a turning point for the economic recovery. Everyone believed him. The world loves this hopey-changey crap.

Strasbourg: Great campaign speech. If he was running for president of the EU.Those Euros love to hear about arrogant, xenophobic Americans.

Prague: Another great campaign speech! We’re going to put an end to nuclear weapons. “Rahm, make sure my buddy Kim gets that memo, ok?” Otherwise there will be more harsh words.

High fives and knuckle bumps all around for POTUS, FLOTUS and TOTUS. Rock stars all.

Score so far: